I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
