how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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