you guys were way drunker than both of me
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Randomize
