wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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