here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
