I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
