...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize