I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
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i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
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Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down