it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.