You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Redeem this text for a blowjob
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.