I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
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I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.