More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize