Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
you win again, gameday.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
They took my balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Randomize