She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
