Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
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