yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
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So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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