He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
