So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
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