bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
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