Too much gin, very little bucket
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Randomize