Christians are straight up FREAKS
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
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