Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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