i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
