if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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