i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
