Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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