dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
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