imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize