Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
I can't turn off my feet"
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
