every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Randomize
