why do cheetos always look like penises
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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