Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
