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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
