Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
