shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
i love accidental penises.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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