This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
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