Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
