I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
