you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
