Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
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