Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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