nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
