Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Randomize
