They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
