He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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