her vagine was all disorganized.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
