she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Randomize
