Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
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