Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
