My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
