I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
You are the jesus of drinking
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Randomize
