my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
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You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
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