If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Randomize
