if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
