The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Randomize
