he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
It was confusing and full of hummus
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
