They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
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so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
You know, be my cock's hype man.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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