I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
