Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
My penis needs a shock collar
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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