and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
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