let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize
