Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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