do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
