I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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