Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
